One of the keys to effective children’s ministry is partnering with parents to minister to their children. Here’s some ideas on ways to do that.

Communication: Communication is one of the key factors in partnering with parents. Most children’s ministries only communicate with the parents of their students to let them know about an upcoming event or program. This is not enough. If you truly want to communicate with parents, you need to let them know what’s going on in children’s ministry, what your goals and core values are, where you’re headed, and what you’re teaching. Newsletters, fliers, and bulletins are one way to do this, but they can’t be the only way. Communication, to be effective, needs the personal touch. Call the parents of your students or visit them. When you do talk to them, don’t only talk. Ask them what they would like to see as spiritual growth in their children. Communication is a two way street.

Use Parents On Your Leadership Team: One way to make sure parents are involved in children’s ministry is to have parents on your children’s ministry planning team. Sometimes they won’t be able to participate every week as workers, but by having parents on your planning team, you give them a voice.

Minister to Families: Sometimes we get so focused on children, we forget about families. Make focused efforts to include the entire family in some programs. You could have a parent/child banquet or include entire families in baby dedication. When a child is baptized or becomes a member of the church, find a way to include the family in the celebration.

Include Children In Services: It is great to have children’s services where children can learn and worship on their own level. But if they’re never allowed in the sanctuary, never allowed to be a part of the congregation as a whole, they miss out on being mentored by their parents and elders in a worship setting. Find a way to include children in services sometimes. And when you do include them, give them opportunities to participate.

Give Parents and Children Opportunities to Minister: Does you church do fundraisers for missions, feed the hungry, or give out free school supplies. These are great opportunities for parents and children to minister along side each other.

Give Parents Resources: You told the parents what you’re teaching their children. Also give them resources to share with their children at home. Devotional books like One Year Devo For Girls and One Year Devotions For Boys and a list scriptures and prayers that relate to the lessons are a great resource tool for parents.

Pray: Don’t just pray for the children in your children’s ministry. Pray for their families.

Culture has invaded the church in so many ways that sometimes we get locked into certain phrases that sound good but go against the Word of God. Here are five of them.

God wants you to be happy. Parents and teachers don’t normally say this because it doesn’t sound spiritual, but they act like it is true. They encourage children to do things and follow paths that will make them happy. In a way, this is true. The problem lies with finding our happiness through the things of the world. The world can never satisfy us, and the happiness it gives is fleeting and depends on circumstances around us. God doesn’t want our children find their happiness in anything except for Him. God wants us to have the joy of the Lord because through that joy, we find strength and living water that will refresh us regardless of the circumstances.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Being popular/successful/liked is important. We never tell our children this, but we all want our children to be successful. We encourage them to make the best grades, to go to the dances and proms, to play on the sports teams. We even encourage our children to do these that go against God’s Word to be popular. I’m sure many of you are thinking you would never do that. So let me ask you a few questions. Do you allow your child to play on a sports team that will consistently keep him out of church? Do you allow your child to read books, play video games, or watch TV programs that are popular yet have occult references or go against God’s Word in another way? Is your child allowed to spend the night at a friend’s house on Saturday night when it means not going to church? Have you ever kept your child home from church to do homework?Do you ever encourage your child not to make waves when the school or another secular activity is teaching him something contrary to God’s Word? There is nothing wrong with being popular, successful, or liked provided your children put God first and don’t pursue those things.

John 12:42-43 Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.  

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a tservant of Christ.

Follow your dreams/heart. The idea here is to encourage children to follow after what they want in life and to not let anything stop them. If we want our children to be committed to God, we need to teach them to seek what God wants for them, to follow God’s dreams and plans for their lives, and not to let anything stop them. We need to teach them to follow hard after God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Communication is one of the key factors in partnering with parents. Most children’s ministries only communicate with the parents of their students to let them know about an upcoming event or program. This is not enough.

If you truly want to communicate with parents, you need to let them know what’s going on in children’s ministry, what your goals and core values are, where you’re headed, and what you’re teaching. Not everyone communicates the same way, so you’ll need a variety of methods.

One way to do this is through Social Media. A blog or website page can help parents know about upcoming events, but a Facebook Group will also let parents get involved in communicating.

Putting a paper in parents’ hands is another way to communicate. Computer technology makes it easy to create newsletters, fliers, and bulletins. You may want to not only pass these out to children to give to their parents, but also mail them to each parent.

Email, FB Messaging, and texting are another way to inform parents about what is going on. Have a sign-up sheet for parents to give you their information and which way they prefer to be notified.

Communication, to be effective, needs the personal touch. Call the parents of your students or visit them. When you do talk with them, don’t only talk. Ask them what they would like to see as spiritual growth in their children. Communication is a two way street.

I am an advocator of children’s church. I always have been. It is important to have children’s services that appeal to their age group for a variety of reasons. That being said, there is a movement in many churches today to always have children separated from adults. Although children should have a children’s church where they can learn and worship God, they also need to regularly be in the main service with the rest of the church body.

What regularly means will vary from church to church. In the churches where I was on staff, it meant once a month and always in special services. Other churches, because of the complications involved, may elect to do it once a quarter. I don’t think it should ever be less than once a quarter.

Here’s 5 reasons I believe children should regularly be in the main service:

Children should not be removed from the main body for convenience sake. This is one reason churches remove children. They want a professional church service where adults can enjoy the worship without being disrupted by noisy children. This sounds good, but the Book of Acts never talks about having a professional service nor does the Bible talk about meeting our own selfish needs during church, but it does talk about children not being pushed aside.

Matthew 19: 14  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Children are a part of the Body of Christ. There is nowhere in the Bible where it says children are a separate body. They are an important part of the church and shouldn’t always be excluded when the church meets.

During the Feast of Tabernacles, all of Israel would come before the Lord to hear the reading of the Law so that the children would hear it and learn to fear the Lord. In Paul’s letters to the Ephesians, he gave instructions directly to the children to obey their parents. He considered them a part of the church that he was writing to.

Children need Godly examples of how to worship. If children never see adults in the main service worshipping, they won’t know how to worship or what is expected of them.

Children need to feel like they are a part of the church community. If children are always separated from the body of Christ, they will never feel like they are a part of the church community. And the members of the church will never get to know the children and be an example to them unless they work in children’s ministry.

Children who don’t feel like a part of the church community will leave church when they’re older. Imagine the culture shock of a child who has been in church all of his life but has never been in the main service. He has played games every Sunday, sang active songs, and had every message or Bible story illustrated with a skit, object lesson, or interactive device.

Suddenly the child turns 10, or 12, 0r in some cases, 18 years old. He has graduated to big church. The music is strange. There are no games, skits, or illustrations, only some guy he’s never met preaching for a half hour or longer. He doesn’t know any of the people. And there’s no candy.

Get the picture? That’s what happens to a child who is never in the main service. Within a few months, maybe even a few weeks, he decides he doesn’t want to be there. If his parents make him stay, he’ll leave as soon as he turns 18. If not, he’ll leave sooner.

He’ll look for a church that entertains him and isn’t boring. If he doesn’t find one, he’ll drop out of church. This may be why so many young people are no longer attending church. They never were a part of the church.