7 Ways to Partner with Parents in Children’s Ministry

One of the keys to effective children’s ministry is partnering with parents to minister to their children. Here’s some ideas on ways to do that.

Communication: Communication is one of the key factors in partnering with parents. Most children’s ministries only communicate with the parents of their students to let them know about an upcoming event or program. This is not enough. If you truly want to communicate with parents, you need to let them know what’s going on in children’s ministry, what your goals and core values are, where you’re headed, and what you’re teaching. Newsletters, fliers, and bulletins are one way to do this, but they can’t be the only way. Communication, to be effective, needs the personal touch. Call the parents of your students or visit them. When you do talk to them, don’t only talk. Ask them what they would like to see as spiritual growth in their children. Communication is a two way street.

Use Parents On Your Leadership Team: One way to make sure parents are involved in children’s ministry is to have parents on your children’s ministry planning team. Sometimes they won’t be able to participate every week as workers, but by having parents on your planning team, you give them a voice.

Minister to Families: Sometimes we get so focused on children, we forget about families. Make focused efforts to include the entire family in some programs. You could have a parent/child banquet or include entire families in baby dedication. When a child is baptized or becomes a member of the church, find a way to include the family in the celebration.

Include Children In Services: It is great to have children’s services where children can learn and worship on their own level. But if they’re never allowed in the sanctuary, never allowed to be a part of the congregation as a whole, they miss out on being mentored by their parents and elders in a worship setting. Find a way to include children in services sometimes. And when you do include them, give them opportunities to participate.

Give Parents and Children Opportunities to Minister: Does you church do fundraisers for missions, feed the hungry, or give out free school supplies. These are great opportunities for parents and children to minister along side each other.

Give Parents Resources: You told the parents what you’re teaching their children. Also give them resources to share with their children at home. Devotional books like One Year Devo For Girls and One Year Devotions For Boys and a list scriptures and prayers that relate to the lessons are a great resource tool for parents.

Pray: Don’t just pray for the children in your children’s ministry. Pray for their families.

3 Things We Want for Our Children that are Wrong

Culture has invaded the church in so many ways that sometimes we get locked into certain phrases that sound good but go against the Word of God. Here are five of them.

God wants you to be happy. Parents and teachers don’t normally say this because it doesn’t sound spiritual, but they act like it is true. They encourage children to do things and follow paths that will make them happy. In a way, this is true. The problem lies with finding our happiness through the things of the world. The world can never satisfy us, and the happiness it gives is fleeting and depends on circumstances around us. God doesn’t want our children find their happiness in anything except for Him. God wants us to have the joy of the Lord because through that joy, we find strength and living water that will refresh us regardless of the circumstances.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Being popular/successful/liked is important. We never tell our children this, but we all want our children to be successful. We encourage them to make the best grades, to go to the dances and proms, to play on the sports teams. We even encourage our children to do these that go against God’s Word to be popular. I’m sure many of you are thinking you would never do that. So let me ask you a few questions. Do you allow your child to play on a sports team that will consistently keep him out of church? Do you allow your child to read books, play video games, or watch TV programs that are popular yet have occult references or go against God’s Word in another way? Is your child allowed to spend the night at a friend’s house on Saturday night when it means not going to church? Have you ever kept your child home from church to do homework?Do you ever encourage your child not to make waves when the school or another secular activity is teaching him something contrary to God’s Word? There is nothing wrong with being popular, successful, or liked provided your children put God first and don’t pursue those things.

John 12:42-43 Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a tservant of Christ.

Follow your dreams/heart. The idea here is to encourage children to follow after what they want in life and to not let anything stop them. If we want our children to be committed to God, we need to teach them to seek what God wants for them, to follow God’s dreams and plans for their lives, and not to let anything stop them. We need to teach them to follow hard after God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

4 Ways to Communicate with Parents

Communication is one of the key factors in partnering with parents. Most children’s ministries only communicate with the parents of their students to let them know about an upcoming event or program. This is not enough.

If you truly want to communicate with parents, you need to let them know what’s going on in children’s ministry, what your goals and core values are, where you’re headed, and what you’re teaching. Not everyone communicates the same way, so you’ll need a variety of methods.

One way to do this is through Social Media. A blog or website page can help parents know about upcoming events, but a Facebook Group will also let parents get involved in communicating.

Putting a paper in parents’ hands is another way to communicate. Computer technology makes it easy to create newsletters, fliers, and bulletins. You may want to not only pass these out to children to give to their parents, but also mail them to each parent.

Email, FB Messaging, and texting are another way to inform parents about what is going on. Have a sign-up sheet for parents to give you their information and which way they prefer to be notified.

Communication, to be effective, needs the personal touch. Call the parents of your students or visit them. When you do talk with them, don’t only talk. Ask them what they would like to see as spiritual growth in their children. Communication is a two way street.

5 Reasons Children Should Be in the Main Service Regularly

I am an advocator of children’s church. I always have been. It is important to have children’s services that appeal to their age group for a variety of reasons. That being said, there is a movement in many churches today to always have children separated from adults. Although children should have a children’s church where they can learn and worship God, they also need to regularly be in the main service with the rest of the church body.

What regularly means will vary from church to church. In the churches where I was on staff, it meant once a month and always in special services. Other churches, because of the complications involved, may elect to do it once a quarter. I don’t think it should ever be less than once a quarter.

Here’s 5 reasons I believe children should regularly be in the main service:

Children should not be removed from the main body for convenience sake. This is one reason churches remove children. They want a professional church service where adults can enjoy the worship without being disrupted by noisy children. This sounds good, but the Book of Acts never talks about having a professional service nor does the Bible talk about meeting our own selfish needs during church, but it does talk about children not being pushed aside.

Matthew 19: 14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Children are a part of the Body of Christ. There is nowhere in the Bible where it says children are a separate body. They are an important part of the church and shouldn’t always be excluded when the church meets.

During the Feast of Tabernacles, all of Israel would come before the Lord to hear the reading of the Law so that the children would hear it and learn to fear the Lord. In Paul’s letters to the Ephesians, he gave instructions directly to the children to obey their parents. He considered them a part of the church that he was writing to.

Children need Godly examples of how to worship. If children never see adults in the main service worshipping, they won’t know how to worship or what is expected of them.

Children need to feel like they are a part of the church community. If children are always separated from the body of Christ, they will never feel like they are a part of the church community. And the members of the church will never get to know the children and be an example to them unless they work in children’s ministry.

Children who don’t feel like a part of the church community will leave church when they’re older. Imagine the culture shock of a child who has been in church all of his life but has never been in the main service. He has played games every Sunday, sang active songs, and had every message or Bible story illustrated with a skit, object lesson, or interactive device.

Suddenly the child turns 10, or 12, 0r in some cases, 18 years old. He has graduated to big church. The music is strange. There are no games, skits, or illustrations, only some guy he’s never met preaching for a half hour or longer. He doesn’t know any of the people. And there’s no candy.

Get the picture? That’s what happens to a child who is never in the main service. Within a few months, maybe even a few weeks, he decides he doesn’t want to be there. If his parents make him stay, he’ll leave as soon as he turns 18. If not, he’ll leave sooner.

He’ll look for a church that entertains him and isn’t boring. If he doesn’t find one, he’ll drop out of church. This may be why so many young people are no longer attending church. They never were a part of the church.

Children’s Pastor, Are You a Part of the Church Body?

If you’re like most children’s pastors, you might want to protest this question. Of course, you’re in church. You practically live at the church. When you’re not there teaching or ministering, you’re planning events or getting curriculum ready for the next quarter.

Look at the question again. I didn’t ask if you are ever in the church. I asked if you’re part of the Church body. Many children’s pastors aren’t. They come in on Sunday and go straight to the children’s wing. When they are finished, they are usually the last ones to leave. They can spend an entire Sunday without ever talking to anyone in the church who isn’t a student or involved in student ministry. So I’ll ask again, are you a part of the church body?

Here’s some ways to know you need work in this area:

Your ministry to children never connects in a meaningful way with other ministries in the church.
You haven’t been to a service in the main sanctuary for months.
You don’t know anyone not involved in leadership or ministry.
The children of your church are always separated from the adults.
You never go to a church event that doesn’t involved children’s ministry.

The problem with not being a part of the church is that you and the children you minister to become separated from the body of Christ. You don’t have the fellowship, encouragement, exhortation, and accountability that comes with being a part of the church body.

As a children’s pastor, if you’re not connected with the church body, you won’t find meaningful ways to connect your students to the rest of the church. When that happens, they’ll leave when the graduate from your ministry because they haven’t become a part of the church.

There is also a danger of spiritual burnout when you are not regularly connecting with the church body and having your spirit fed.

Spiritual Burnout in Children’s Ministry

Now that you understand the problem, here are a few ways to fix it:

Be in the main service at least once a month. No exceptions! If the worker who was supposed to be in children’s church isn’t there. Take the children in the sanctuary with you.

Have regular times for your students to be a part of the main service. Have the children be in the main service from time to time. Some churches do this once a month. It is not only important that your students are in the service, they need to be a part of the service. Have them stand and worship during the worship time. Talk to the pastor about connecting with children during the sermon by having a children’s sermon or having something in the message that connects with them. You can also have the children sing or do a performance during the service.

Get your pastor onboard with encouraging the congregation to get to know the children. A prayer mentor program is a great way to do this. Each adult commits to praying for a child in your church. That adult will have the address, birthday, e-mail, and phone number of the child so he can stay in touch.

Prayer Sponsors for Children

Find ways to get your students involved in other ministries in the church. They could be involved with doing a fundraiser for a missions project or serve food during a benevolence night. Brainstorm with other ministry leaders to find out how your students can be involved.

Be involved with ministries that have nothing to do with children’s ministry. Every children’s pastor is busy, but it is vital for you to feed yourself before you can provide for your students’ spiritual help.

Build relationships with congregational members who will never be in children’s ministry. This won’t benefit your ministry, but it will connect you with the body of Christ.

Ask God to help you make this a priority.

Partnering With Staff

An important part of children’s ministry is working with the entire church staff as a team. It is an inclusive way of doing ministry. In most churches, each ministry is compartmentalized and doesn’t communicate with the other ministries. But partnering with other leaders in the church will cause your minister to work in harmony with the pastor’s vision. It will also increase your effectiveness if other church leaders understand where you’re coming from.

Here’s some examples of way ministries can work together:

Middle School Ministry: Middle School ministry transitions students from children’s ministry to youth ministry. An effective middle school ministry will have both youth and children’s pastors as a part of the program.

Preschool Ministry: Children’s pastors should work with preschool directors to transition between preschool and children’s church smooth.

Partnering with Youth Pastors: Children’s pastors and youth pastors can go to each others events and church camps to build relationships with students. This will increase the number of students who stay in the church when they become teenagers. Children’s pastors and youth pastors can also work together on missions projects and outreach events.

Partnering with Pastors: Communicate often with your pastor and let him know what’s going on in children’s ministry. Ask your pastor what his vision for the church and the children’s ministry is. If you can’t get behind the pastor’s vision, you’re in the wrong church.

Schedules: Keep the schedule of the whole church in mind when scheduling events. When possible, have events that combine other ministries and leaders. One example of this might be a block party on the church grounds that has events for every age group or family events instead of children’s events.

How to Partner With Parents

One problem many children’s ministries have is they try to minister to children on their own. That’s not the way God wants us to do things. Although we may have children in our ministry who don’t have godly parents, God wants to use parents to spiritually raise their children. The role of children’s ministry should be a support role.

Here’s some ideas on ways to partner with parents.

Give Parents Resources: You’ve told the parents in your ministry what you’re teaching their children. Also give them resources to share with their children at home. The Fire Bible for Kids is a great resource to use and has object lessons and devotions parents can use at home. JumpStart 3 also has some great music resources for parents to teach children how to memorize scripture. Focus on the Family has free family devotions on line at this link that you can share with parents.

Pray: Don’t just pray for the children in your children’s ministry. Pray for their families. Also pray for parents to have godly wisdom in raising their children.

5 Ways to Get Children to Leave the Church When They’re Older

There is an epidemic in this generation of young adults who attended church when they were children and young teens only to leave as soon as they become “of age”. What are we as a church doing to get these students to leave? While there are many answers to this questions, here are five things your church can do to get children to leave as soon as they grow up.

Play a lot of games in children’s church. Games aren’t wrong, but when a children’s ministry mostly focuses on games and the wow factor, children will grow up expecting to be entertained. When they start attending adult church, they will become disappointed and leave.

Teach children to be good. It doesn’t sound right, but teaching children to be good can cause them to walk away from the church. There is nothing wrong with being good, but we should be teaching children to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Being good isn’t good enough. We need to teach our children to be godly.

Teach watered down Bible stories. Bible stories are important. So is every other part of the Bible. But if we only teach watered down Bible stories and concepts instead of teaching children the entire Word of God in a way they can understand, we inoculate them to the Gospel. We give them just enough to feel good about themselves, not enough to get them saved. Unfortunately many Christian Education publishers are doing that to make sure their curriculum is accepted by all denominations. Children can learn doctrine if we teach it in a way they can understand.

Don’t let children have a part in ministry. Teach them that their only role is to come to church and listen, maybe play a few games, and you’ll assure them that they’re not an important part of the church. Children can be taught to minister. I know because I’ve taught children to minister in every area of the church including doing object lessons, leading praise, leading in prayer, and preaching by the age of twelve. I’ve even taught children to be prayer warriors for leaders in the church.

Always segregate the children. If you never let children, or even teens in some cases, be a part of the congregation, they will grow up in the church but not being a part of the church. They’ll have little or no connection with the older saints and will leave when they’re no longer a part of the youth or children’s ministry. They’ll be out of their comfort zone. One way to stop this from happening is to make sure children are included in intergenerational church services once a month and to make a place for them at church events.

Prayer Sponsors For Children

School has started, and children are entering a spiritual war zone. They need prayer. That’s why having a prayer sponsor for each child in your ministry is essential. Here’s a few ideas on how to have prayer sponsors.

Advertise in the congregation. Let the members of the congregation know that they are committing not only to praying for a child every day, but to connecting with that child at least once a month. They should also send the child a birthday card and thinking of you postcards occasionally. Let the sponsors know they are committing to this for one year.

Launch the Program with a Special Day. You could have a special banquet where the prayer sponsors will sit with the children they’re praying for. Or you could have a special children’s anointing service and have each prayer sponsor pray for his or her child. Free plans for a children’s anointing service can be downloaded at this link.

Give Information. Prayer sponsors should be given information about the child they are praying for including age, grade, school, parent’s names, address, email, and phone number.

Have a list of suggestions on what to pray for. You could put these suggestions on a bookmark they can place in their Bibles. Make the bookmarks out of card stock paper. Here’s a list you could use.

School
Family
Health
Activities
Relationship with God

An Opportunity to Give. You can also use this as a way to raise funds for children’s ministry. Give the sponsors enough offering envelopes for the year and suggest they give a certain amount of money to the children’s ministry once a month in the name of the child they are sponsoring. If there are any trips or special events that cost money, the money they give will go toward the child they’re sponsoring.

Invite prayer sponsors to children’s ministry events, and let them know what’s going on in children’s ministry in your church.

The prayer sponsor program can be one of the most effective programs in your children’s ministry. Prayer changes things.

Reasons to have Children’s Church

Children’s Church is important. It’s also important to understand why you have Children’s Church.

Wrong Reasons:

Parents want to enjoy the service. We should have children’s church to minister to children, not to convenience parents.

Children disrupt the adult service. If the adult service is the best place for children to be, that shouldn’t matter. We should have children’s church to minister to children.

We need something for the children to attract adults to the church. Children’s ministries do attract parents because they want what is best for the children. But we should have children’s ministry because we want what is best for the children, not to get more adults in church.

We want to teach children about God so that when they are older, they will serve Him. Children’s ministry should emphasize to children that God wants them to serve Him now, not just when they are older.

Right Reasons:

Children are a part of the body of Christ and should have a worship service they can relate to.

85% of all Christians are saved between the age of 4 and 14 years old. That means our resources and time are better spent reaching out to children.

Children need to be saved, sanctified, and serving in the church. Children don’t have a junior Holy Spirit. They can be saved, sanctified and Spirit filled