Christians Are Strange

Christians are Strange  

Psychiatrist:  I believe you know why you’re here.

Christian:      Yes, I was forced to come.

Psychiatrist:   Forced is a rather harsh word.  Lets just say you were acting in some very strange ways.  The police felt that for your own good and for the good of those around you that you should be evaluated.

Christian:       They didn’t ask how I felt about it.  They put me in handcuffs and told me I had no choice.

Psychiatrist:  All right.  That may be true.  But as long as your here why not make the best of it and cooperate.  The sooner we evaluate you, the sooner you can leave.

Christian:       O.K.

Psychiatrist:  The police say that when they picked you up, you were acting very strangely.  They say that you preaching about, I almost hate to say the word, Jesus at a park.  While you were preaching about (fumbles around) Jesus’ love some people came up to you and started cursing at you. 

Christian:       That’s right.

Psychiatrist:  The police said that this is when your behavior became very erratic.  You actually starting getting down on your news in some kind of religious frenzy and starting praying for these people.  Is all of this true?

Christian:       That’s right.

Psychiatrist:  We’re not accusing you of doing anything wrong.  We just want to help you.  O.K.

Christian:       O.K.

Psychiatrist:  Lets try to figure this out.  Were you praying for these people to stop harrasing you?

Christian:       Not exactly.

Psychiatrist:  Were you praying for God to punish them?

Christian:       Of course not.

Psychiatrist:  Then what exactly were you praying for?

Christian:       I was asking God to bless them.

Psychiatrist:  (getting upset)  Now Mr. Jones, can’t you understand why the police took you into custody.

Christian:       No.

Psychiatrist:  This radical strange behavior is not good for you.  It shows that you have a persecution complex.  Not only that, by basing this behavior on some fanatical Christian cult, you are not facing reality. 

Christian:       I can see the truth better that you can.

Psychiatrist:  What is the truth?

Christian:       Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

Psychiatrist:  Mr. Jones, I’m trying to help you here. 

Christian:       What can I do to help you?

Psychiatrist:  Your not supposed to help me.  I’m supposed to help you.  (calms down)  I have an idea.  I’ll give you hypothetical situations.  You tell me what your normal response to these situations would be.

Christian:       All right.

Psychiatrist:  If someone stole you coat, what would you do?

Christian:       I’d give him my jacket.

Psychiatrist:  Mr. Jones, that’s not an acceptable answer?

Christian:       I’m sorry.

Psychiatrist:  Lets try again.  Suppose somebody walked up to you and slapped you across the cheek.  What would you do?  Wouldn’t you be angry? 

Christian:       Of course I would.

Psychiatrist:  Good, that’s better.  What would you do then?  Would you punch him?

Christian:       No.

Psychiatrist:  No?

Christian:       I’d forgive him and let him slap me again.

Psychiatrist:  Mr. Jones, your not even trying.  What if somebody was your worst enemy?  What if he mistreated you and talked behind your back?  Now, what would you do?

Christian:      I would love him and pray for him.

Psychiatrist:  No, Mr. Jones.  You are not acting normally.  It’s obvious you need psyciatric help. 

Christian:       I don’t need help.  I’m a Christian.  I love God and I want to love others as He does.  I even want to help you.  How can I help you know the love of God?

Psychiatrist:  That’s enough Mr. Jones.  You are one of those Christian fanatics.  You don’t belong with normal people.  You are strange.

Christian:       That’s right.  The Bible says that we are not of this world.  I’m proud to be considered strange if it means I’m following Jesus example of love.  It’s normal people of this world who need help.  You need the love of Jesus in your heart. 

Psychiatrist:    I’m going to recommend you be locked up for your own good.

Christian:       I’ll pray for you.

Psychiatrist:   Aghhhh!

Christian:       And I forgive you.

Whose Thought Are You Thinking? Skit

This skit shows children not every thought that pops in their head in theirs. They can control their thoughts.

Woman comes in singing This Is The Way We Go To Church and sits down.

WOMAN:  So here we are at church again?

DEMON:   This is boring.

WOMAN:  Did I hear something?

DEMON:  I hear my own thoughts.

WOMAN:  Oh, I hear my own thoughts.

DEMON:   Church is boring.

WOMAN:  Church is boring.

DEMON:   They want me to stand up and sing those boring songs again.

WOMAN:  They want me to stand up and sing those boring songs again.

DEMON:   I don’t feel like praising God today.

WOMAN:  I don’t feel like praising God today.

DEMON:   Besides if I raise my hands and dance around, I’ll look silly.

WOMAN:  Besides if I raise my hands and dance around, I’ll look silly.

DEMON:   What a boring sermon.

WOMAN:  What a boring sermon.  That’s an interesting point.  I never knew you could control what thoughts you listen to.

DEMON:   That can’t be true.

WOMAN:  It has to be true if it’s in the Bible.  Maybe I should think more about God and about praising Him.

DEMON:   That’s stupid.  I don’t want to praise God.

WOMAN:  Maybe I should decide to praise God whether I feel like it or not.

DEMON:   No I don’t want to praise God.

WOMAN:  I praise you Lord whether I feel like it or not because I know you are worthy of praise.  I ask you right now to help me renew my minds so that my thoughts please you.  I love you Lord.  I’m going to fill my mind with scripture and with Christian music so that my mind is renew even more.  I’m not going to listen to the lies the devil puts in my mind.  I’m not going to conform to the pattern of the world.  I’m going to feel my mind with God.  I feel so much better now.  Thank you Lord.

DEMON:   Oh no.  She’s not listening to me anymore.  I better try to find someone else to plant thoughts into.